Naruto's Extraordinary Plan
by grimmkittylove
Summary: Naruto believes he has discovered how to bring Sasuke home, but Sakura is unconvinced. Semi-Canon-compatible crack. If that makes any sense at all whatsoever.


**Naruto's Extraordinary Plan**

_In which Naruto is retarded and Sakura has no idea what to do with him_

_--_

**AN**: I have no idea where this came from. Seriously.

And um… don't kill me for not updating Fifty. Please. Then I won't be able to.

--

"Hey Sakura-chan!"

The pinkette turned around at the sound of her name, a smile breaking out as she saw Naruto rushing at her. "Hey Naruto!" she replied.

Said orange-clad ninja beamed, waving a scroll in the air. "Guess what!"

"What?"

"I think I figured out how to get Sasuke back!" Sakura's heart stopped.

"What?" she repeated cautiously. He didn't seem to notice, still grinning.

"I think I figured out how to-"

"Yeah, you said that already!" the medic snapped. "So what's this plan?"

The glint in the demon container's eye reminded her strongly of the time before he disappeared to vandalize the Hokage mountain, making her quite wary. "It's simple!"

"Well, then explain!"

He sighed dramatically. "Fine. All we have to do is become a famous band, and record a best-selling single that gets on the public radio. Then, he'll hear it and come back to see what the hell I'm doing singing, we'll catch him in a box, and then beat sense into him until he swears to stay! I've even got the song written! Look!"

Sakura was too stunned to reply and didn't resist when he shoved the scroll into her hand. In a daze, she opened it and began to read.

**Come Back to Konoha**

By Uzumaki Naruto

"He said he needed a break.

A little time to think.

But then he went off to Sound

With some peeps he found

When he went to the bank.

"There's nothing wrong with the Sound Land

Except the human testing

And there's Orochimaru

And I heard that they haze you

By making you sing

"So when you're done doing whatever

And when you're through doing whoever,

You know Fire Country will be right here waiting for you

"Come back to Konoha!

It's just not the same since you went away

Before you lose your accent

And forget all about the Hidden Leaf

There's a seat for you at Ichiraku's

And I've got every coupon saved

Besides the beef and pork ramen suck north of here anyway

"I think I made a mistake

It's not that easy to take

He went to make a deposit

Then he cleaned out his closet

Guess I'll sit here and wait

"For him to come back home (I'd wish you come back home)

It shouldn't take very long (so long so long)

I bet he misses the leaf falls

And Sakura's rice balls but I could be wrong

"So when you're done doing whatever

And when you're through doing whoever,

You know Fire Country will be right here waiting for you

"Come back to Konoha!

It's just not the same since you went away

Before you lose your accent

And forget all about the Hidden Leaf

There's a seat for you at Ichiraku's

And I've got every coupon saved

Besides the beef and pork ramen suck north of here anyway

"Team Seven wants you back

The Hokage wants you back

ANBU wants you back

And your fangirls want you back

The tomatoes want you back

And Iruka wants you back

"I got a premonition

I'm taking a petition

And the whole state's gonna sign

"Come back to Konoha!

It's just not the same since you went away

Before you lose your accent

And forget all about the Hidden Leaf

There's a seat for you at Ichiraku's

And I've got every coupon saved

"Come back to Konoha!

It's just not the same since you went away

Before you lose your accent

And forget all about the Hidden Leaf

There's a seat for you at Ichiraku's

And I've got every coupon saved

Besides the beef and pork ramen suck north of here anyway

Besides the beef and pork ramen suck north of here anyway

Besides the beef and pork ramen suck north of here anyway!

Yeah!"

She stared at him for several minutes, during which he began to fidget uncomfortably.

"So, whaddya think?"

SMACK! "I think you're getting stupider every time I see you. I bet Sound doesn't even get radio from Konoha, and I highly doubt Sasuke would listen to it even if they did!"

"Aw, Sakura!"

"Plus… that song is a complete rip-off of "Ohio" by Bowling for Soup. If you're gonna write something stupid, at least make it original!"

"It is original! Weird Al does parodies all the time!"

"Just shut up, Naruto. You're digging yourself into an even bigger hole every time you say something."

"What? I don't get it."

"…I rest my case."

--

**Discalimer: I don't own anything recognizable. Including the song "Ohio (Come Back to Texas)," Bowling For Soup, and Naruto and his friends.**


End file.
